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Friday, October 28, 2005
Dream
I got really crazy drunk a couple of nights ago so I had some nice drunken dreams. It's no secret to anyone that I love the Gilmore Girls and I sorta have a crush on Scott Patterson's character, Luke. It's very important to distinguish that I don't have a crush on Scott Patterson, I have a crush on Luke. Alright, there's the set up, now here's the dream.
So I was visiting Stars Hollow where I was going to visit my long lost Aunt Babbette. She took me to Luke's Diner where I had an incredible vegan breakfast. That's where I met dreamy Luke. Then we went to see Aunt Babbette's friend Miss Patty at her dance school. They gossiped while I went for a walk around the Square. I walked into Dosse's Market, was thrown out of Kim's Antiques and found myself back at Luke's. Then I heard Aunt Babbette yelling at me about how I have to go to the Dragonfly Inn and have lunch with her, Miss Patty and some mysterious woman named Eastside Tillie.
The four of us went up to the Inn and were greeted(ish) by Michele. We had a reservation and we went into the dining room. Sookie came out to see us and since Babbette had told her all about me she had a vegan feast waiting. That's when Lorelai rushed in because Paul Anka (her dog) was missing. I met her and she took an immediate liking to me. She decided on the spot that I was better then her daughter Rory and asked if I'd be her son. I decided it would be a good move to say yes. Just then Paul Anka jumped through the vegan feast. (The peas in it freaked him out.) Since lunch was ruined, Me, Patty, Babbette, Lorelia, Eastside Tillie, and Sookie went to Al's Pancake World but it was Beef, Beef and More Beef Day there so we kept on walking. Westin's was crowded so we headed back to Luke's where my stupid new mom Lorelai kissed Luke!
I got pissed and stormed. Mom-Lorelai came out to comfort me and then we went home. Later that night, Mom-Lorelai had to finish some stuff up at the Inn. So I was home watching Knight Rider on TV when Luke showed up. He told me this was mindless crap and that we should watch TLC instead. So we turned it on and he sat on the couch next to me. (I was on the far left part of the couch, Luke was on the middle of the cushion.) Then Luke flung his legs up onto the right part of the couch and flopped down in my lap with his hands behind his head with a smug little smile on his face. I freaked out and he just kept on smiling. "What if Lorelai comes home and catches us like this," I yelled. Then he kissed me. Not like a super kiss, but just a peck on the lips. That shut me up and we went back to watching TLC.
Then I woke up. So there you have it, my latest crazy dream.
(Dream)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I'm Here. I'm Queer. I'm Getting Used to It.
Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. I try to be a good gay, so I used a volunteer day and I headed up to Cleveland to volunteer with some friends at The Lesbian Gay Community Service Center. They were having a rally called "Live Homosexual Acts." Since I used to work there, I wasn't surprised by the appearance of chaos.
We flyered Public Square and set up for our rally on a chilly, drizzly afternoon. Amazingly we got the PA system working, and low and behold, we had a rally. As we set up, I noticed press beginning to gather. First it was Fox 8, then it was NBC 3. All of a sudden I felt really uncomfortable.
I'm openly gay. I came out at work at my interview. I'm not afraid to hold hands with someone I'm dating. I'm open on all my blogs, to my friends, the list goes on and on. But for some reason I just felt weird, awkward and singled out. There's really no justification for my feelings except for internalized homophobia. Maybe I'm not as cool with being gay as I let on.
It really tore me up last night. I'm supposed to the gay poster child. I've done peer counciling. I've helped people experience the gay community for the first time in their lives. I worked at a damn gay community center! Yet here I am fretting over being associated with this rally by the media. It doesn't seem to fit.
I think I'm entering a new phase in my life. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's here. I feel myself regressing, heading back to the safety of the closet. I already feel like there's a foot back inside. I think I'm starting to realize that there's a lot more to being gay then I thought. I think I'm starting to see that now and that's why I'm freaking out.
So, sure. I'm here. I'm queer. But I'm still getting used to it.
(I'm Here. I'm Queer. I'm Getting Used to It.)
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Sleeping In
I tried sleeping in today but I couldn't. I got up at 7:17, cursed at the clock, and rolled over. Forty minutes later, I was wide awake and staring at my ceiling fan (which I discovered really needs dusted). So I did what any American would do, I turned on the TV.
To my surprise, MTV was playing a crappy music video! Did you even know MTV still plays music videos? I didn't. I thought that's why they made MTV2! But like I said, the video sucked, so I proceeded to flip through the channels until something interesting came on. Finally, I landed on the Discovery Health Channel and there was a special on about Progeria. I've seen a few of these specials before, but this one was brand new to me! I got so excited to learn about the rapid aging of children!
So there I was, in bed, watching kids grow into old people by the time they're teenagers. It was really quite sad, but I'm amazed by the human body and even more impressed by the human spirit. It's gotta be crazy being a parent of a child with progeria. Most children don't live past their early teens; it has to be terrible to know that your child could very well die before you. But you have to rise above it and make their short time here the best it can be! That's what these parents do; make their kids' lives the best they can be.
Then my show was over and I needed a shower. That means getting out of bed; out from under the warm, warm covers and into the chilly house. So instead of moving right away, I flipped through the channels. I miss daytime TV. I landed on Tyra, Tyra Banks attempt at a crappy daytime talkshow. It looks so terrible! I wish I could be at home to watch it. That way I could loath Tyra and her alien forhead even more! This episode was all about Tyra and her cheap ass.
Finally, I had to get out of bed and get ready for work. Now I'm here and I miss Tyra and my progeria children.
(Sleeping In)
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