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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I Spell Relief V-E-T-O
A few weeks ago there was this big stink in Norton about making English the official language of Norton. If you read my other blog, RubberBuzz, you might know that I was very against this, you know, because I'm sane and don't have a warped xenophobic perspective of America. I wrote the ACLU a few times and I wrote the mayor of Norton. Then I waited to see if Joe Kernan would overturn the council's resolution. I figured it would be in The BJ, but I never saw it. I figured Mayor Joe let the resolution stand.
Today I was reading Akron.com about the ward races in Norton and they were talking about the English only thing and views from the candidates. And all of a sudden, boom, there it was as plain as day, Mayor Kernan had vetoed the resolution. I felt so much better. I know Joe. He's a good guy and I'm glad to here he took the high road on this issue.
(I Spell Relief V-E-T-O)
Wishlist Bastard
I'm a bastard. I'm double dipping when it comes to holiday and birthday gifts. Almost everything I want I can get on Amazon.com. I can add it to my wishlist and people can get it for me. But that just helps Amazon make more money. I want to make more money. So I set up an affiliate relationship with Amazon. Now I get 8% of every sale and I get the gift. It seems so wrong, but it feels so good.
(Wishlist Bastard)
Monday, September 26, 2005
I Like Orange
In honor of Fall (and because my color scheme is too much like Peppermint's) I have changed the colors on my site!
(I Like Orange)
Move In Day
I helped my buddy Adam move into his new house on Sunday and today I hurt. I am personally not big on physical labor. It's not that I think its below me, I just suck at it. Sure, I can build you a database or optimize your website, but just don't ask me to build a bookshelf. It'll collapse on your family.
The rest of my family is great at being handy and outdoorsy. I'm great at being sunburned and stepping on pointy broken things. I can't blame Gay for doing this to me; I know plenty of my fellow 'Mos who are great at building things, renovating homes, playing sports and, scariest of all, camping.
My 'rents are on vacation this week. They went to some crappy beach in some southern state. This sounds like hell to me. I couldn't relax on a beach. I'd be too worried about sunblock and getting sand in weird spots to relax and have any kind of fun. I'm only relaxed when I'm in the city when there are sirens going off and horns honking at pedestrians. This would freak my parents out. We're polar opposites. It could be that I'm just rebelling still. Whatever my parents love, I will forever loathe. Whatever they hate, I will embrace full heartedly.
But seeing as home ownership is (hopefully) just around the corner, I'm trying to get over my fear and work on becoming handy! Moving in Adam was just my first step towards manliness. Tonight, I'm going to help him put down a tile floor. That'll butch me up.
(Move In Day)
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I Almost Broke Down
I totally forgot to blog about this on Tuesday. So Monday, I went to Sakura in Fairlawn with Mia, Adam, Sage and Rocky. I've been vegetarian for about 9 months now and I really haven't had any cravings for dead things, that is until Monday. Everyone around me had chunks of raw fish that looked really tasty. Spicy tuna roll, eel roll, crab roll, dragon roll... they all had tasty dead animals in them! They looked so much better then the tempura tofu roll and vegetarian roll that I was snacking on. I really wanted to eat a piece of death, but I didn't. I stood strong.
It's been a long path to becoming a vegetarian. I stopped eating pork in middle school since I wanted a pig as a pet. I figured I couldn't eat a dog, so how can I eat a pig. My junior year in high school I was inspired to give up red meat in general. My Academic Challenge "coach" didn't eat read meat and he challenged me not to. Plus he was really hot and I thought he might like my dedication to his cause and inspire him to make out with me.
I tried to go vegetarian my freshman year for about a week, but the Union food made it hard to not eat chicken. Then I tried again my senior year. By now I was cooking in my dorm so I could make whatever I wanted; the Union was no longer an issue. Plus, I had to bring balance to the universe. My best friend John has been vegetarian for years and that semester he took entomology. Since he had to kill for class, someone had to give up killing to eat.* That someone was me. Luckily, he dropped the class and I got to eat chicken wings at Paninis again.
This current trip into vegetarianism started on January 1, 2005. I was drunk and at a party West 9th in Cleveland and I decided that the piece of chicken I was eating would be the last chuck of meat I'd ever eat. Eight months and 3 weeks later I haven't folded. I think this might actually last. My next big obstacle will be Thanksgiving.
*The best part of this story was that my chemistry teacher asked if anyone in class was vegetarian. I raised my hand. She asked me why I gave up meat. I had a good relationship with her so decided not to lie. I told her I gave up meat so John can kill bugs for class. She was John's advisor, so I thought she'd get a chuckle out of it. Instead she just looked at me, tilted her head, and said that since she knew John, my reasoning made sense!
(I Almost Broke Down)
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Fall Lineup
Every channel changed their lineup last night. I normally watch Will & Grace on WGN from 6:30 until 7:30, but now it's gone! Luckily, Lifetime's picking up the slack and showing Will & Grace from 11:00 until midnight. I'm really excited that the show's on Lifetime not because I get to watch it (I'd be asleep before it comes on), but because there's a quiz to help me determine which character I'm most like! I was really hoping I'd be Karen, but I'm not. I'm Will. Here's what Lifetime has to say about me.You Are So Will!Move over, Martha Stewart! You're the most domestic clean freak around, and you can whip up a plate of olive tapenade like no one's business. Yet for all your culinary skills and fab fashion sense, your love life is anything but perfect. Your fussy ways and ridiculously high standards could be scaring off those tall, dark and handsome types. And one more thing: If you were to look up "butt-in-ski" in the dictionary, you'd see your face. Stop channeling Dr. Phil and get out there and live it up a little. (Sorry, eating frosting from the can doesn't count!)
But am I bitter about this? Absolutely.
(Fall Lineup)
I'm Over It
I'm done with Texas Hold'em. This was hot like 4 years ago and now it's everywhere. Everyone at works wants to play, every channel has there own tournament, and all I can think about is how black jack is so much better. But give it 4 years and I'm sure I'll be over it, too. By then there will black jack on every channel and I'll be on to 5 card draw.
(I'm Over It)
Monday, September 19, 2005
Passing
I passed for straight last Friday night! I was totally excited! I'm not the gayest of the gays, but still its nice to know that I can pass if I have to. Hmmm... actually that sounds wrong. I can pass if I WANT to. I'm over people caring one way or the other, but sometimes it's just easier if you pretend to be who other people want you to be. There are less questions to answer, less awkward stares, and less talking in general.
Case in point, I was in Chicago for a trade show last December. I was chatting was a nice but very drunk guy and he started talking about some of the women at the conference. I felt uncomfortable so I played straight. I went along with his conversation and once I felt he offended enough people, I said my goodbye and walked to the open bar for another cocktail. Sure, I could've said I'm queer and that I'd didn't want to "tap that," but it was way easier to play along.
(Passing)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
It Could Be SARS
Last night I got sick! I started feeling a bit sick-ish after work and by 8 I was pretty sure that my death pending. My friend Ingy's birthday was last night, so I felt obliged to go out for a little bit, but I didn't drink! That never happens! Being out and drinking go hand-in-hand.
I woke up this morning with the most amazing headache ever. It hurt to open my eyes, it hurt to swallow, and in general it hurt to move. I stayed in bed hoping the pain would stop, but it didn't. I debated taking a sick day today, but I didn't do that either. I feel guilty taking sick days. I don't know why, but I do.
Eh. At least I get to take NyQuil tonight.
(It Could Be SARS)
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Married
A few of my friends are now married. This creeps me out to no end. I'm still more concerned with video games and fun shoes; they're worried about what to make for dinner and who will do the laundry.
My roommate in college got married the summer before our senior year. I love both him and his wife with all my heart, but it's now weird to hang out with them. It's not like things have really changed, but in my mind they are now distinctly different. They are my married friends. I feel like I need to do couple stuff with them, like dinner parties and Pictionary. I, however, am not at this point in my life. I want debauchery and lots of it.
Tonight I want to go to the bar and drink. If I were married I couldn't do this. I'd be at home knitting a scarf or a Christmas tree skirt worrying about where the kids are and what I'll make for dinner the following night. I can't do that! I am not Donna Reed!
Alright enough ranting for a day...
(Married)
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Gilmore Part II
Four hours and twenty seven minutes to go!
(Gilmore Part II)
Gilmore
Tonight is the season premiere of The Gilmore Girls. I know it's just a TV show, but it actually means something to me.
My mom and I got into a huge fight almost 4 years ago. It was right around Christmas when she found out I am gay. My mom's outwardly liberal stance quickly changed to the conservative "not in my family" stance that others in my situation have experienced. There was an eruption of emotions. More "You'll burn for your evil ways"s and "I'll never be a Grandma"s then I care to talk about. I wanted to leave and never come back.
We had been so close. My mom had me when she was 18 and just graduating high school. We were more like best friends then mom and son, but me being queer destroyed our relationship. For the next three years while I was in college, we talked maybe once a week. I hardly every came home. All I wanted to do was forget that awful night, I just wanted to keep running away.
Things began to get better around the time I graduated. I moved back home to do my job hunting. My mom then introduced me to the Gilmore Girls. I actually liked the show and it began to act as a bridge for my mom and me. Things still aren't perfect and I doubt they ever will, but at least I have my mom back for one hour a week.
(Gilmore)
Monday, September 12, 2005
WWMD?
Sometimes when I'm in awkward situations, I ask myself a simple question: What Would Madonna Do? It usually results in me avoiding trouble, reading about Kabbalah (and wishing I had a little red Kabbalah string), getting into bigger trouble or hunting for a pointy bra.
I applied this theory to an honors chemistry class my senior year of college. Every paper I wrote was based on a Madonna song. My strongest paper showed the parallels between Madonna and genetic engineering. My final project for the class was about reinventing yourself (which Madonna is a master at) and the science of facial care products, all of which was set to a series of Madonna remixes. It was hot. I got an A in the class.
Madonna even helped me find a job. I had tickets to see her show in Chicago on July 12, 2004. A few weeks earlier, I had been offered a job with American Express selling insurance. If I would have taken the job, there would have been no Madonna or Chicago for me. I turned down the job, saw Madonna and then a few months later I found the job of my dreams.
So Madonna, if you're out there, and I know you are, thanks for everything.
(WWMD?)
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Dream
Last night I had a crazy dream. My mom and I had to go Christmas shopping for my little cousin. She needed some new diaper for her Cabbage Patch doll Judy Jordan. I think we were in a Wal-Mart or K-mart when my mom told me the only place we were going to find diapers this close to Christmas was at Toys R Us.
We ended up at the Toys R Us at Rolling Acres (is that still open?). When we went in it was enormous. There were, like, 100 foot ceilings and the store stretched out for miles. Luckily we were able to find some Cabbage Patch diapers, but not before I ran into my High School band director. He was on his way to the liquor store that was conveniently located right by check out.
That was a crazy dream, but it got me thinking: a liquor store in a toy store makes perfect sense. When your holiday spirit gets low, you can boost it with some spirits! When it's not the holidays, you can let you kid run wildly in the store while you pick up a handle of Kettle One. It really seems like a win-win situation. I've been wanting to start my own business for a while now. Maybe this is my calling.
(Dream)
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Beer and Poptarts
Five years ago I was a college freshman with crappy classes that occurred at the ass crack of dawn. For this reason, I took to the bottle.
Everyday at around eight o'clockish, I'd walk over to the coffee shop in the Student Union with my brushed Stainless Steel travel mug from Starbucks in tow. I'd get it filled with the darkest brewed coffee they had, then walk back to the dorm. I'd open up the bottom drawer of my desk, get out a bottle of whiskey or Irish cream, and make myself a cocktail. I would take my mix to my expository writing class and sip away while others discussed really boring topics that I could care less about.
As the semester progressed and the weather got colder, I didn't feel the need for the Union brewed coffee. Instead, I took a shot of whatever was available and had a Poptart (usually iced strawberry). I ran out of milk one morning and instead of getting a glass of water or juice, I cracked open a Guinness. The dark beer and the Poptart went really well together, especially the chocolate kind. Thus came my new morning ritual: Beer and Poptarts.
(Beer and Poptarts)
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